we tend to believe that people who are charming and attract bees and other friends to drink a can of soda are born in this way. But that's not always the case. Being a more likable person is something that the most introverted of us can learn. For this reason, we have summed up the habits of eight attractive people, you can join your repertoire. It's not magic, it's science!
Credit: Jacob blonde / iStock / gettyimages Credit: gpointstudio / iStock / gettyimages chatting can be annoying (especially introverts). But if you want to meet someone, it's important. If done well, small talk can lead to deeper relationships, says Margaret hunt, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and associate professor at UCLA. Dr. hunt suggests asking more questions and listening to the answers honestly. " "Thinking about what to say next, and how to make someone happy, can get in the way of listening and lead to interruptions," she said. When you turn your attention to what the other person is saying, let these concerns exist. " Now listen carefully: why does America's obsession with "happiness" make us feel pressured? Trust: Jacob ammentorp Lund / iStock / gettyimages when you want to remember someone's name and use it when talking to them, it indicates that you were present at the first meeting. " "People like to be recognized," said mark delare, a clinical psychologist in Cape Town, South Africa. Remembering a person's name or their interests and hobbies and asking about them when you meet again can make them feel recognized without having to perform. You are more likable because you make them feel recognized and comfortable. " integral: flairimages / iStock / gettyimages when you approach a frowning person, he / she is likely to unconsciously reflect your expression and behavior. 'body language is important because we are born to respond to stimuli in the environment,' says clinical psychologist mark delarey. Your "fight or run" nervous system can help you scan your surroundings for clues about whether there is a threat nearby, he said. Therefore, in the context of a conversation, hostile body posture or threatening tone of voice may make the person you are talking to feel uncomfortable or alert around you. 'then you create a space where you may be considered inaccessible,' Mr. delaire said. Credit: gpointstudio / iStock / gettyimages read more: : 10 simple ways to make your life fully present to you. Find common ground. It's important to show enthusiasm for someone's interests and find similarities to build rapport and show sincerity. " "People are usually very transparent about their interests and may ask you a question because they are eager to share their views or experiences in this field," said clinical psychologist Margaret hunt. Emphasizing someone's political or lifestyle that you identify with creates intimacy and attraction, because sharing these meaningful traits is particularly powerful in creating a sense of liking. " Credit: ridofranz / iStock / gettyimages " when IWhen people think that similar people have unattractive qualities, we tend to feel uncomfortable. " Dr. hunt said. It's worrying that we may also be vulnerable to these negative factors. Dr. hunt suggests trying to match someone else. If they share something personal, it's appropriate to disclose it at the same intensity, and it can increase intimacy. read more : 8 what do you think of the "bad" habit science that is actually OK Credit: monkeybusinessimages / iStock / gettyimages 1. Put down your phone. Nothing is more annoying than talking to someone who seems to be distracted by a mobile phone. A 2012 study published in the journal Social and personal relations confirmed that just having a mobile phone nearby impedes face-to-face communication. Focusing your attention on the people around you and the conversation creates a sense of connection. In addition, it makes the person you're talking to feel like they're proven and telling them they're more important to you than email or Facebook notifications.
2. Master the art of small talk.
4. Ask questions. One of the best ways to do that is to ask follow-up questions to show you've been listening, says clinical psychologist Margaret hunt. A study published in the 2017 issue of the journal Personality and social psychology found that the more follow-up questions a fast dater asked, the more likely he was to have a second date. " "Some of the most basic questions are the best start," says clinical psychologist mark delaire. what do you like? A movie or a series? What kind of music or band do you like? How about sports or hobbies? "Giving feedback is another way to show that you have heard, understood and are interested in what the other person is saying," Dr. hunt said. Eye contact. Making eye contact with someone is one of the most powerful ways to communicate. Because when your eyes wander, neuroscientists have determined that the same areas of the brain are activated as when your brain wanders. So if you don't make eye contact, it's perfectly understandable that others may think you're not interested in them. On the other hand, meaningful eye contact indicates that you are having a conversation. Just make sure you don't stare at them for a long time without blinking. Maintaining eye contact is definitely an art.
Credit: m-imagephotography / iStock / gettyimages 6. Pay attention to your body language.
7. Practice empathy. Popular people show positive and negative empathy. When your colleague shares all her amazing holiday stories, positive empathy will make you happy. On the other hand, negative empathy shows that you understand and care about your best friend's breakup. In both cases, Margaret hunt, a clinical psychologist, suggests that you read more about what they say and understand the emotions behind them. For example, instead of saying "that's bad," Dr. hunt said, "you must feel bad." When celebrating someone else's success, it's best to focus on the other person. She suggested, "you must feel very fulfilled that promotion. I remember you stay late every night in September. I'm glad they recognize your dedication. "
9. Don't go too far. Finding common ground is a good start. However, Margaret hunt, a clinical psychologist, says that these similarities can sometimes act as an ostracism, which is why sharing too many personal details at first, no matter how connected you feel, can backfire. "
What do you think? Is it difficult for you to get in touch with new people? If so, have you ever encountered a secret that feels more attractive than you? Have you adopted any of the ideas listed above? What works for you? Share your suggestions in the comments section below!
