so far, we are all familiar with the common saying that half of marriages end in divorce. According to the latest Pew Research Center statistics, the divorce rate of people over 50 has doubled in the past 25 years, while the divorce rate of people under 50 is actually twice that of their older peers. When you think about all the weddings you've attended, you can bet that many of these couples will not fulfill their promises before they die, which will make us lose part of our promises. Although there is no magic formula that can completely prevent a broken marriage, you can do something to make your marriage as strong as possible. Here, experts share their advice on staying together for a long time.
Credit: @ hanssichristian via Twenty20 Credit: Twenty20 / @ calebthetraveller " when your partner tells you something privately, don't share information with anyone, even your best friend, "says Kimberly Hessen of LMSW, a New York City therapist who specializes in relationships. It's hard to become vulnerable and share problems with others. When a partner can open up to you, it's important not to undermine his or her trust. Like a fight or your sex life. Now listen to : why the obsession with "happiness" in the U.S. makes us feel pressured. Credit: @ armisan via tweety20. Provide support - and focus. Show your spouse that you will always support him / her even if he / she does not necessarily ask for support. " "Sometimes ask your partner how they are doing, not even your own personal questions, so you can get along with them completely," said hesensen. It's a great way to listen to other people's questions and their voices, so that your partner knows you're listening to them. " this means putting down your smartphone or laptop, leaving work emails or text messages from friends unanswered, and giving your partner time to share his or her information. Please pay attention. Credit: @ customer via Twenty20 Credit: @ hellomikee via Twenty20 Credit: @ vanilliyy via Twenty20 when you are upset, Hessen suggests using the tried and true "I" instead of "you", which focuses on your emotions rather than blaming the other person. For example, say "I'm upset when I get home from work, the sink is full of dishes" instead of "you always leave the dishes in the sink, I'm fed up with it!" "And don't threaten divorce, no matter how upset you are," she said. Instead, tell your partner you need time to calm down. " Credit: Twenty20 / @ lilbold Credit: @ boriss79 via Twenty20 you know their opinions on the hypothesis, so try not to impose your expectations or opinions on your partner." Don't think you know what your partner is thinking or feeling. Telling your partner what they think or feel is incredibly disrespectful. Acting on your assumptions without verification can lead to misunderstandings and misunderstandings. " If you are not sure, please ask. Having your partner clarify his feelings, actions, or motives will only deepen your understanding of him and strengthen your relationship. Credit: @ ingridnagyphotography via Twenty20 " if both sides can accept the noble view of marriage - sacred, unbreakable, etc., then they are more likely to solve any problem and try to avoid divorce, "he said. Treating your relationship as a fixture in your life is a great way to help you maintain that relationship. Credit: Twenty20 / @ notgracechu points: @ customer via Twenty20 1. Be self aware. Although it's important to know your partner, it may be more important to know yourself completely. Dana carretta, a licensed mental health consultant and founder of the peaceful life mental health consulting company, said people usually have strong reactions to their partners' behaviors, but don't know why. This can lead to conflict, misunderstanding and frustration.
2. Don't underestimate the importance of trust. Trust is the foundation of your relationship. But trust your partner, be trustworthy, not just to believe that you will go home every night, but to create a safe emotional space. "
4. Be responsible for your behavior. If you say something wrong or do something wrong, please apologize. If your partner is not happy with you, speak up. Acknowledge what your role is (even if it's just upsetting them) and discuss what you can do differently in the future. " As the saying goes, kindness is more important than right. Being responsible for your actions shows that your partner realizes that you don't meet his needs and you want to do better.
5. Stay physically close. It seems obvious, but if you physically touch each other, you're more likely to stay married. " Whether it's kissing, greeting or saying goodbye, snuggling on the sofa or holding hands - even non-sexual contact can build relationships, "Hessen said. After all, physical contact is the difference between a friend and a lover. And for many people, if they don't get that intimacy at home, they may look elsewhere.
6. Don't fight. Well, this one looks like an extension, but see if you can take on the challenge: while popular advice encourages couples to "fight fairly," relationship consultant and coach Leslie doles says you shouldn't give yourself permission to "fight" at all. Instead, develop a healthy way to manage differences, minimizing harsh words, hurtful tone and harmful reactions, "she explained.
7. Learn to embrace the ordinary. At the end of the whirlwind dating period, the daily life with your spouse will feel, well, boring. Dating and love coach Jonathan Bennett, who is in charge of the popular man, said that when the excitement subsides, marriage can become challenging. Thank you for how boring your life is - you are not dealing with serious family, money, medical or personal struggles, you have a reliable partner to rely on if life gets bad.
8. Keep curious about each other. At the same time, carletta suggests committing to always wanting to know your partner. " "When a couple is together for a long time, they tend to think that they know everything about their partner and don't know that preconceived notions may not always be accurate," she explained. By asking your partner thoughtful questions about him or herself, you can also help your partner feel that you are still interested in him and learn and grow with him. " For example, she said that she and her husband have a weekly date night, and when they are together, they always ask each other, "what do you have I don't know?" "It usually leads to an interesting and inspiring conversation, and it's exciting to know that there's always something to learn," she said. Don't make assumptions.
10. Cherish your promise. Bennett said that many people don't put marriage in a high position at all, which will lead to the breakdown of marriage, because partners don't value their vows the way they should. "[P]
What do you think? How to maintain a good interpersonal relationship? Will you apply these suggestions to your life? Share in the comments section.
