Eight reasons why you always date the same type


When it comes to dating and falling in love, you may have a type. Maybe you like free and unrestrained musicians or artists, or you like bookish intellectuals. You may always prefer Gaga to a partner with red or blonde hair, or a partner with dark skin and brown eyes. After years of experience, you may know what your "type" is, but how do you get it? It's not just a matter of taste or coincidence - in fact, there are a few scientific and psychological factors that can help you indulge in a preferred soul mate brand. Although you may be attracted to this type again and again, it may not be suitable for you. According to dating coach Evan Marc Katz, that's when you need to think about your date's personality, not something else. " The most important thing is... With a partner who makes you feel good, "he said.


1. "Are you dating someone?" said your friends and family. If you are single, this is the first question your friends, family and colleagues will ask. (hint at your sighs and eye movements...) Then, of course, they will ask you what he or she is like. "Because your friends and family are always involved and giving their opinions, they are shaping what you think belongs to you," said Katie Chen, a personal matchmaker at catch matching. A man told his family that the girl he was after was a senior executive and seemed too busy for him - and the family preferred traditional gender roles. The family will say, "find a good girl who can give you more time." If the man accepts this view and sees it as his own, it's shaping his own type. "

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2. Your body chemistry

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even if you are not actively looking for a partner, your hormones and body chemistry may be wandering for you. Helen Fisher, an anthropologist and consultant at chemistry.com, believes that people choose partners whose chemicals complement their own. According to the chemicals in our bodies, there are four main personality types: explorers with high levels of dopamine, curiosity and adventure, she said. The high serotonin builder is calm, traditional and constrained by schedule. This high testosterone executive is focused and logical. Finally, the high estrogen negotiator is compassionate and imaginative. Although personality types with the same chemical substances can attract each other, the opposite personality types can also produce significant sparks.

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your DNA "cousins" may take you to a bad place, but the idea is one thing: similar genes can affect your specific match. When you choose a mate based on a similar level of education, social class, or race, this is called combinatorial mating. But Benjamin Domingue, a behavioral scientist at the University of Colorado at Boulder, and his colleagues went one step further. They conducted a study to determine whether all kinds of mating took place at a genetic level. They collected 825 heterosexual non Hispanic white couples. After analyzing the data of nearly 2 million loci in each human genome, they compared the genome with that of their partner. They then randomly matched the genome with that of other people. They found that the couple were more likely to be similar to each other than those who were randomly matched. However, they concluded that while "gene classified mating" may be a factor in "type," education based classified mating is still three times better than gene based classification. Related: what you can do today, your future self will thank you for your contribution:

4. What you have in common is: birds of a feather flock together. That's why you pursue people with similar backgrounds and values. They may share your attitude or habits and even like the same music and movies as you. It sounds like a no brainer, but it actually has a name: homosexuality, which means "love for the same thing." This happens not only in the real world, but also in the virtual world. After all, a quarter of people have met their spouse online, most likely by looking for someone similar to them. Andrew T. Fiore and Judith s. Donath of the media lab at MIT studied the model and found that the highest characteristics of online users who exhibit homosexuality are race, marital status, drinking and smoking habits, appearance and religion. In general, their conclusion is that you like people like yourself most of the time, whether online or offline.

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5. Your gender archetype

in Edgar Rice barrows' novels and Disney movies, Tarzan has a huge manliness. (hey, he was raised by apes. So it's no surprise that he's staring at Jane, an extremely feminine girl in distress. In fact, the formation of these gender archetypes is very real: research shows that you tend to play a more masculine or feminine role, which is related to what kind of role you like to play in your partner. A paper published in the Journal of social, evolutionary and cultural psychology in 2011 pointed out that the strong "attitude and belief" of feminization is characterized by a clear preference for more traditional male behavior and a higher tolerance for male sexual assault and violence. Highly masculine men may also choose women who show more typical "female" characteristics.

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6. Your B.O. (yes, taste)

of course, Axe body spray, Cologne and brand perfume may attract some admirers. But the real fragrance can enhance your sexuality. It's your own natural musk. You may not be aware of it, but your main histocompatibilityComplexes (or MHC genes) are cell surface molecules encoded by genes that normally control your immune system, and they also work overtime to help you find a mate, in which case the opposite sex attracts. According to Dr. Marty Haselton of the Department of communication research and psychology at the University of California, Los Angeles, "people's evaluation of the taste of people with different MHC genes is more attractive." It means that your body wants you to be attracted to someone who doesn't smell like you, so your MHC gene plays an important role in determining a person's pleasure in sweating.

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7. Your partner = your bisexual

being attracted to someone who looks like you seems narcissistic, but that doesn't mean it's not a factor in your "type." According to David Perrett, a researcher at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland, we are attracted to people who are similar to our parents or ourselves. Why? People want a partner who looks familiar. Perrett showed his students photos of the opposite sex and asked them to rate the photos according to their attractiveness. In one of the photos, he changed the students' photos into pictures of the opposite sex. In many photos, students almost always like their faces. His research also found that people tend to be attracted by features similar to their parents, such as eye color and hair color. "When we were babies, our parents were the first people we trusted," he explained. So we unconsciously put people with the same facial features more trustworthy than others. "

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8. From your childhood experience to your parents, to your evil (not evil) predecessors, your history determines your type. "You're most likely to choose a partner because they give you a sense of identity," says psychotherapist Lynn inney. So, when you meet someone with these familiar repressive qualities, a sensor will turn off, which is the "chemical reaction" you have experienced. Even from an ex boyfriend to a new love interest, this familiarity may be a powerful aphrodisiac. She added, "it doesn't have to feel good, but it feels right, just like you always know this person. This is the "connection" you feel.

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What do you think? Do you have any types? Can these reasons explain why you developed a type? Share your thoughts with us in the comments!

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