Discuss 10 of the hardest health topics with your partner

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having a conversation with "honey, I have something to tell you" is never easy, especially when it comes to your or your partner's health. When you want to tell the truth, you are also wondering whether bringing up an embarrassing health topic will bring you back to OkCupid. As Carol Quinn, a writer, editor, sociologist and sexologist, suggests, "it helps to know more about your situation or problems before you solve them. In addition, it's a good plan to talk to an experienced consultant in advance, so you can know how the other side will accept your news. From health disorders to mental illness to sexual disorders, here are 10 of the most challenging health topics you can discuss with your partner - and how to talk about each one. Mental illness without icing: mental health disorders - including bipolar disorder, depression, and personality disorders - can lead to a person's poor self-image, emotional ups and downs, paranoia, aggression, lack of compassion, behavioral instability, and other intolerable characteristics. Any of these things can challenge a relationship because of stigma and misunderstanding. "Every quarter, I ask my college students how many people go on a second date if their date tells them they have bipolar disorder," said Dr. Ramani durvasula, author and professor of psychology at UCLA. Unfortunately, most people say they won't, so for those who are experiencing mental illness, it's a real problem. " "Treat the conversation in terms of educating your partner, preparing them, and telling them how you deal with the symptoms, depending on how chronic and debilitating the symptoms are," she suggests.

relevance: 7 reasons for not doing so let fomo rule your social life. According to the medical definition, addiction is a persistent, compulsive dependence on a behavior, such as gambling, shopping, eating, sexual activity or a substance (from nicotine to alcohol, marijuana, pills to strong drugs). If your partner is addicted, Dr. Sarah Schwarzbaum, founder of the couples counseling association and professor at the University of northeast Illinois, suggests starting a conversation about addiction when you are awake and well rested. Dr. Ronald B. Cox, of the center for family resilience at Oklahoma State University, added: "the strength, perseverance and understanding you provide is critical to your partner's recovery. But you also have to hold your partner accountable for their actions. Resilience increases when you eliminate any enabling or caring behavior. "He stressed," your partner is not a bad person, but a person with a 'bad' disease that may affect your relationship. "

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three. If we only talk about sex, it's as simple as the hit of salt-n-pepa in the 1990s. But when your relationship seems to have some hurdles between sheets, it's hard to talk about it while stepping lightly. These problems include difficulty in sexual intercourse (pain in female sexual intercourse), lack of sexual arousal and lack of active interest in Peroni's disease (accumulation of scar tissue in male, which can cause pain), premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, orgasm suppression, etc. "The best time to discuss is not when you're already naked in bed, but perhaps when you're both relaxed and able to talk about your problems in a connected and careful way," duvasula said. A frank and open conversation often leads your partner to expose his or her own affairs. "

correlation: indicates that your partner has signs of emotional infidelity. Genetics tend to be healthy, so you and your loved ones have begun to discuss whether your future children will be higher than average, musical or sporting. Should you also suggest unpleasant genetic traits in your family? Dr. Ramani durvasula said, "although these problems may not become problems in the future, or even may not occur, they are still difficult to talk about, especially if you are on the way to engagement or marriage." She suggests that even if this may be in the distant future, you still need to make your partner aware that there may be some genetic predisposition in your family, such as certain cancers, Alzheimer's or other diseases.

correlation: why to get the second opinion can save 5 lives. There's nothing like being too open to bath time to kill the mystery of love. But if you're one of 1.6 million Americans with Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis (according to the Crohn and Colitis Foundation). You have to tell your partner. Irritable bowel syndrome and other types of gastrointestinal pain, as well as bladder disease, can cause urinary incontinence to be some of the most embarrassing problems raised if you are half the couple. Psychologist and relationship expert Dr Karen Stewart, Psy. D., said: "while these topics may not be appropriate to talk about, keep in mind that this is the person you may feel closest to." Gether often brings couples closer. So you should take that into account, "she added. When you're part of a dating group, you'll share interesting adventures - from taco Tuesday to karaoke and ball games, to weekend vacations, and so on. But it's hard to explain or point out that one of you has been very tired, doing nothing but sleeping, which may be due to chronic fatigue syndrome or potential diseases such as Epstein Barr. Dr. Seth Meyers, a psychologist and author of overcoming relationship repetition syndrome and finding the love you deserve, said: "it's difficult for couples to have mental health problems that affect their energy levels because one of them questions whether the other is really sick or just complains." These issues do need to be discussed. "Weekends are the best time to come up with these challenges because it's the most stressful time of the week," he suggests.

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7. Infertility if your relationship is moving in the direction of marriage, mortgage and one or three breads, you need to consider whether a) you want to have a baby, b) you really can have a baby. After all, according to resolve.orgAccording to the website, one in eight couples has difficulty getting pregnant. Asrm.org reports that one-third of infertility is caused by a female partner, one-third by a male partner, and one-third by both parties' problems, or unexplained. You need to talk about it in the end, but timing is the key. When it comes to infertility, writer, editor, sociologist and sexologist Carol Quine said, "if you have a feeling that partnership will last... This topic should be raised early in a relationship. If you're seriously considering having children, it's completely relevant and can be considered a factor in compatibility. "

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8. Past trauma events

some types of unresolved trauma can infiltrate and destroy a relationship. According to Stephanie K. Glassman, Psy. D., "trauma survivors may feel vulnerable and confused about who or what is safe," she explains. "The impact of trauma does not stop affecting individual survivors. "Traumatic events may include those that have occurred only once, such as car accidents, rapes or attacks, or those that have lasted for some time, such as child abuse, separation or domestic violence. Jennifer Lyle, a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of weconcile, a couples online project dedicated to seeking help, advises: "if you want to avoid emotional breakdown caused by trauma, you have to understand your past trauma to heal them, and then see your relationship as a bridge between your differences Where the beams are. "She stressed," you should share your wounds with your partner: they are part of the relationship. When you are traumatized, you should reach forward and support each other. "

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9. There's really no easy way to say that your lover should put down cupcakes except to surprise him / her with a bad health habit. Or, if you are a person with a late night pizza craving, you may not want to admit that you may be harming your health and your love life. When it comes to healthy habits, try to avoid becoming defensive. Acknowledge your weaknesses and guilty happiness, and then find a middle ground with your partner. You should not hide them. Instead, maybe try to manage them better. " "A relationship often leads to a healthy change," she explains. But whenever we are ashamed of something, we become secretive - which is often unhealthy for your relationship. "A common healthier alternative, such as hiking or cooking a healthy dinner together, could be a potential way to boost your health and mood, your energy and sexuality.

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10. "I'm sorry, baby, your voice smells like a dead man" is not the sweetest word, whispering in your other half's ear. Let's face it: when there are some health problems in a relationship, such as bad breath (halitosis), excessive flatulence (intestinal gas), body odor, etc., they may mention them awkwardly. But you need to work with your partner to solve these problems because they can be a sign of a more serious potential problem. Chronic halitosis may be a sign of gum disease or liver and kidney problems. When it comes to flatulence, it's normal for people to breathe 20 times a day. But excessive farting may be caused by lactose intolerance, irritable bowel syndrome or bacterial overgrowth in the small intestine. Writer, editor, sociologist and sexologist Carol Quinn suggests using your "talk" as an expression of concern, such as, "honey, I've read that when someone's breath smells' smelly ', it could be a health problem. I'm a little worried. "

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What do you think? In love, do you have to talk about these problems? What ice breaking tips do you have when you come across a difficult topic? Tell us in the comments!

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